God is a Loser.
The abuse of religion, the pain of dealing with judgmental people and the absolute need to separate from it all in order to survive.
I was baptized catholic and my father made a weak attempt at raising me Christian…meaning he decided he was Christian and judged me constantly even while he failed and had screaming meltdowns by him self when life wasn’t going well.
Apple didn’t fall too far from the tree as I developed some serious anger issues for a long while. I still have anger…you’re a moron if you think you can get rid of feeling angry…but I learn to place it where it can dissipated or be alchemized.
I don’t like religion.
I take that back.
I don’t like religious people…specifically:
ones who DON’T live by their own rules
ones who don’t actually know their own text and just follow the group
ones who won’t shut the fuck up about being superior to other people all while…
non-stop preaching about why I should join.
It took me a long time and STILL I feel a sense of fear from the group…
…but there’s no God.
There just ISN’T…there’s no revealing text or proof and there never was…it’s always been a tool for control and it always will be.
And I know some people want to highlight the fact that organized religion helped with bringing up society and IT DID.
But it’s not the religion part…it’s the organized part.
Organization brings order…not a belief in the unknown.
However, if we want to talk about what ‘order’ religion might have brought to the table, I would argue that slavery and fear tactics have always been the main product.
Do what we tell you or you will be tortured and killed in the name of (insert religion or God).
Do what we tell you or when you die you will spend eternity in a place of pain and torture.
Oh, by the way, ignore all those other religions and Gods…those are bullshit…ours is the main one.
I only write this because at the age of 42, for as many times as I have tried, I could never find a reason to believe in a god nor a group that really practiced what they preached.
As a matter of fact, it’s REALLY easy to find people who go against their own religion all the time.
Hey.
Also.
People with religion and people without are capable of the exact same hypocrisy and evil.
Because of my weak constitution and values, I was always bouncing back and forth between religions and beliefs in search of a path where I could feel confident and comfortable and just live my life with a sense of purpose and security, as well as have a path for success.
It’s not that I needed God or a certain religion…it’s that I needed truth.
People speak a lot about spiritual paths, religious beliefs, and personal development.
You can’t measure or weigh any of those.
I can’t ask you for 45.7 units of belief.
I can’t tell you I gave someone 5 units of personal development and show you a spreadsheet on it.
But in this world…everything is measured.
Time. Distance. Weight. Amount. Height. Width.
Look at everything on your cell phone screen or laptop…every single part and feature of your devices was meticulously measured, tested, and proven before mass manufacturing.
From the hardware to the software to the internet that connects it all.
No Jesus, Buddha, or Mohammed required.
But I still could not let go…not right away…not even of my own will…
I WANTED to hold on…
But the world showed me how incapable of peace, intelligence, and self-awareness it can be.
There’s no intelligent design around that.
There’s no scripture that rightfully excuses war, slavery, or abuse and manipulation of the masses.
There are no chosen people.
There is no special place.
There is no all-knowing all-seeing being.
When it finally hit me…it wasn’t anything crazy.
It was more like finally giving in after so many attempts to explain it all.
No one has ever or will ever be able to prove God or a savior.
It is more likely that the image of God and a savior is actually an image of ourselves and that all the secrets of the universe that we’ve ever needed are in the space of language and STEM.
No religion has ever created more progress than math or science.
Ever.
God never designed a church…engineers and architects did…with math and science.
I don’t have a ton of regrets…but of the few that I do…I wish I had just ignored all the bullshit about belief in a magical higher power or even the search for it and just leaned into practical knowledge…
I wish I had never trusted or believed in God, and placed all that belief in the present pile of amazing tech and knowledge that has existed (and been effective) for centuries.
The good news, I suppose, is that I can now place more time and energy into what is real. I can focus on things and ideas that actually make me stronger. I can ignore the notion that anything or anyone is coming to save me. I can forget about the idea that there is a special magical place I’m working to get into when I die.
I can drop it all.
Am I preaching?
Yeah…I guess in a way I am…
If religion doesn’t literally create positive financial, health, or power shifts in your life…it’s optional and no more useful than watching Harry Potter.
I can’t make a choice FOR you on the subject.
I’m just telling you I made mine.