2026: Inner voice, self-destruction, breaking free, questioning everything, focused action.
Steal. Eat. Kill. Repeat.
You’re nothing. You’re a piece of shit. You should fucking kill yourself...at least hurt yourself a little…
It would feel so good. The blood rushing past your layers of muscle and skin. The feeling of becoming empty. Letting go. You don’t need this life. You don’t want this life. You don’t even like this life. Why the fuck are you still even here?
That voice…so familiar.
You really think that’s YOUR voice…
No.
But it’s there/here. We can’t deny that.
I had/have this voice.
It used to get so loud that I would closed fist punch myself in the head over and over and over and over…
I’d have a concussion.
I’d have lumps on my head for days. I didn’t care. I hated the voice. I hated it enough to kill myself to not hear it.
I think the source of the voice hated the conscious retaliation.
The last time I beat myself with my fists…
…then a PVC pipe thin foam roller when I ran out of energy from straight shots to the head…
…then that voice got really fucking quiet.
It would ‘flare up’ sometimes…then my mind would remember the beating.
It was as if the ‘voice’ would sense the danger coming and shut the fuck up.
It was progress, I suppose.
The concussion put me to sleep.
I wasn’t interested in waking up.
I wanted to stop the voice.
But the voice likes to play.
It wants to trauma bond and cycle through your thoughts and body.
It finds other people infected with the voice who will ALSO want to play.
You get to make some fucking friends…you can hate each other and talk shit and get wrapped up in useless drama as your life slowly slips away.
Relax, loser.
Let the voice take you away like a fat fuck in a water park lazy river, stuffing beer and pretzels down his throat.
Let it soothe you into hate.
Let it paint the world black for you.
Let it be your teacher.
The voice likes you tense. It likes you to have a muddled vision. It likes it when you don’t know and you seek for answers outside of yourself. It likes it when you just hate a motherfucker for no reason at all; even more when you have a reason. Really seals in the flavor.
When you find yourself walking angrily and remembering who you hate and who bothers you the most.
It loves it.
The paranoia makes you safe, it says.
Pretend to be who you are not.
Speak what you do not mean.
Resist the urge to speak truth.
Ingest poison.
You can even choose your costume/mask:
Perhaps you would prefer being a whore/prostitute…selling yourself short for others happiness…
Maybe a self-destructive saboteur…you can enjoy the pleasures of always getting close to the finish line…and failing…over and over.
Maybe you want to run your mouth like a spoiled prince to cover up for your lack of personal authority and responsibility.
I never said there wasn’t way out of the game.
The tribal warrior inside of you is old technology…
But not outdated.
Underutilized, surely.
But you’re afraid to use it…you don’t want to look bad to others who are playing the game. You want to like what others like. You want to talk about the weather when you don’t know how to fill the void of silence. You want to be agreeable.
Why introduce the static of your real thoughts when you can submit to the masses?
Doing when, and because, others do.
The doing does not matter. It could be eating the same food. It could be repeating the same anthems. It could be abusing because others abuse. You could be accepted more and more. Fun and easy to just play.
Think as they think.
Act as they act.
Slave like they slave.
But I suppose, if you’re tired of playing the game.
If you want to play your own game.
There are ways/methodologies.
But you have to ‘leave the voice’…and you want it to like you, right?
No more voice…not for you…not if you won’t play.
There is only “I”.
v‘I’olent.
v‘I’ctorious.
v‘I’brant.
Things you fear being, lest the pack leave you in position of solitude.
Do you really need a buddy to be your best self?
Do you owe the world your attention?
Don’t you know of your obligation to death?
Of course, you will feel the ‘bleeding out’.
That feeling of wanting to grasp for literally anything in order to fill the void and feel better again. To feel like you are playing the game at the same time that you are not. But you can’t do both.
You need to choose.
You wish you had the power to choose. You fear the tension in letting go. But there is only tension in your tight grip to what no longer serves you.
You can’t be a ‘Karen’/nice guy/victim/desperate/party animal anymore.
No mas.
Imagine being who you really are in public. Saying what you really want to say. Doing what you really want to do.
The fear - is the voice in your ear.
Listen to the mental addiction play itself out.
This is the beginning of alchemy.
I know (that you know) you are being programmed on some level.
You may have heard of the clear channel of the ‘I’…a place of serenity and uninterrupted creativity.
This seems foolish to the masses.
A waste of time and energy, really.
Why take on the effort of thinking for yourself when there is a group of others who will gladly do it for you?
They have even done the work of placing themselves in commercials, television, your computer and cell phone.
So you can live freely while they monitor your every move in order to consistently feed you entertainment.
This will keep you nice and happy/docile/weak.
But if you insist…
To quit the game, you must play one final round.
There are rules.
Rule One: SEEK Dissonance. (…from everything you ‘know’.)
Should you realize that your values are inborn, you should know that they are expressed and crafted by you. No one else. Allow anyone else the pleasure of deciding what your values are, and you are back to ‘the voice’.
You believe you are conscious and thinking.
The voice is great at helping you feel like you’re doing something when in actuality you are doing nothing. It is doing it for you. You think you are on a mission. But it chose the mission. You think you feel angry or sad about something. But it programmed your feelings, so you feel what it wants you to feel when it wants you to feel it.
You have no autonomy…only addiction.
First…you have to choose to NOT think the way you used to.
Even so, ‘voice’ will be there.
Making noise in your mind and consciousness.
You will have to also recognize that those thoughts are not you. You will have to know that you have programs in what you think, what you do, what you eat…everything. You will have to be aware of all of this while the voice continues to influence/speak to you. Just because you are stopping doesn’t mean it will.
You need to create as much conscious separation as humanly possible.
You will need to remove distractions.
You will need to remove hobbies and ‘desires’.
You will need to recognize that some of the ‘dreams’ you have are not dreams, but distractions keeping you in chase of a ghost…a Fugazi…something you can never really acquire.
For most of us, that Fugazi is acceptance…you may even get some acceptance while playing with the voice.
But it’s conditional.
It doesn’t really like you.
It just likes to control you.
So…you will have to use your own brain…how can you create more separation from the voice?
Change of environment.
Change of social circle.
Change of clothing.
Change of belief.
Change of diet.
You control the meme…not the culture.
Notice how I don’t tell you how to destroy the game?
The game was never yours to begin with. You were born of it. The conspiracy theories may be true. Maybe there is a group of old white fucks in suits having secret meetings while they jerk each other off to Mozart. But you don’t know them, and they don’t know you.
All you know is that a game is being played. All you can ultimately choose is how you play, and how your values and intuition seek to play. You can also choose not to play.
There exist people without government IDs and carbon footprints.
There are also people who have never experienced a day without cash in hand.
The point is that the options available to you are endless…unless you adopt rules placed upon you.
Which is also fine.
I could care less.
They could care less.
You’re going to fucking die anyway…it’s the only obligation that you can’t dodge.
Even those who are on the search for immortality have yet to find it.
There may even be people who have found it but don’t want anyone else to have it.
We don’t know.
There is only one thing that can be truly known…
Rule Two: You are here. This is real.
I don’t care if you believe in God. I could give a fuck about your religious upbringing. Right now, the religious views of the world are in the THOUSANDS.
None of them have proven God.
Many of them have twisted the definition of God to make it seem more real.
But…no proof.
STORIES…but no proof.
BOOKS…but no proof.
Tall tales of dying and seeing grandma in heaven…no fucking proof.
But if there’s anything that we can agree on, it's that you are right here, having this experience right now.
I am in the moment creating this post.
You are in the moment, hopefully, reading it.
If you were eating an apple and someone tried to convince you it never happened, you’d question that person’s judgement.
“Of course I ate that apple…I was there.”
Can I prove it’s real?
Not really…because everyone’s fucking definition of real could be different and we’re right back to proving god.
But as far as we know, this is as real as it gets on THIS plane of existence.
We have our senses.
We have the environment that our senses interact with.
That’s about it.
And it’s no more real to a wall-street banker than it is to a tribal mother in the forest.
Same senses (The 5).
Same playing field (Earth).
Different players (Survival Programming).
So…as far as I can tell…
This life is the real fucking deal.
Murmurings of an after life and a higher power casting judgement be damned.
Rule Three: Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
The morons will take this literally.
Fuck em’.
The translation is: Question everything; Always push boundaries.
You don’t know what is true or not until you’ve taken time to explore it to find definitive information.
Just because something is said with a tone of truth, doesn’t make it true.
Have the balls to say, ‘I don’t beLIEve.’
Have the work ethic to explore and study.
You don’t know your limits until you seek them out.
I don’t mean some bullshit peak performance Tony Robbins garble…I mean EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.
There might be a rule made by someone that you can’t walk into a specific building, for example.
You don’t know if that boundary truly exists until you make the attempt.
I’m not telling you to be a contrarian for the sake of it…although some people are into that.
I’m telling you to stop following every fucking rule and stop acting like such a pussy in the face/mask of authority or authoritarians.
I’m also NOT saying it’s easy.
But it’s still your choice to make as you please.
The idea of going against the word of those who believe they have jurisdiction over you is a real anxiety spiker.
So there’s an internal learning curve to be expected.
Rule Four: Focus
I have ADHD.
I fucking hate it.
Typically, if I sit down without either magnesium glycinate, cheap Malbec (not recommended), or a heavy meal in my system…it’s minutes to seconds before I get anxious and pop out of my seat to do some random shit.
My leg bounces.
Most things are distracting and I have to be very particular about music I listen to when writing or studying.
But I have a sticky note on my wall.
“Stay In.
Get Rich.
Get Ripped.”
It serves it’s purpose.
It’s a reminder that everything I want is on the other side of focused, quality work.
I can run around outside all day.
I can bounce from thing to thing.
I can do the noisy, the colorful, the loud…
But none of that shit gets me paid.
Focus gets me paid.
Sit.
Work.
Fuck everything else.
When I do indulge, I feel pissed.
Playing a game that pays me nothing.
Watching a movie gets me nothing.
But I find it really fucking hard.
Getting to a place of focus requires all the tricks I can pull off.
Supplementation.
Clearing out my desk so there’s nothing but the fucking task at hand.
Apps deleted.
Music specific for studying.
Ear plugs with headphones on top so I don’t have to hear a single outside noise.
Recovery time.
Purposely setting up 15 minute naps with earplugs and a face mask so I can allow my mind to clear.
Even with the thoughts rushing through during my nap, it helps.
Sounds like a lot.
But so is running around and trying to do a million things with no sense of direction.
Shut the world out.
Build your own.